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Yeah so, I've been having a real hard time with life lately...and wanting to continue to live it.

I think between getting back to bad eating habits, no job, no secure income and hating living in the US, I've really put myself in a rut.

Thankfully I have Perry-the-Platypus to keep me going, but that's pretty much it.

Been busy RPing my novel with her to finally just get it done, which as been helping.

Just a lot of stress right now....
That emotional moment you read old conversations you had with your former bestie :(

"And of course I feel like you have been a great influence on my life!!! Girl, everything I've done for the past six years would not have been the same had you not been my friend. You became my friend during a time in my life where I have never felt more lonely and empty, and you helped me through it without even knowing probably that that's how I was feeling at that time (because naturally it's hard for me to open up to people when it comes to stuff like that). And that will always mean so much to me. And of course our friendship has grown a lot since then and it really does mean the world to me and that's why I would never want to throw this away. I think that friendship is something worth working through. Nothing is ever perfect, everyone makes mistakes. I know this, and that's why I wouldn't want to just give up on this. I've talked with you about things that I would seriously never talk with anyone about and you never once judged me, and really that has helped me a lot. I care about you as a person too, and I think you have been there for me for things that no one else has, and I never want to take that for granted. And I hope it has never come off as though I have. Sorry if I'm rambling, just trying to get this all out in a way that makes sense X'D"

:( I feel so terrible for the things I've said and I miss the crap outta you and I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...</3

Eh, sorry venting. Don't mean to fill your feeds with sap.
I'm never on here really much anymore....:/ Kinda hurts to be tbh. 
Thank god, it's about time faint 2 Faint Faint [YT Tobuscus] When the Deviation/Art/Upload is Just Right (icon) GIF Gravity Falls - AAAH THE JOURNALS!!!! 
 GIF My Little Pony - Idk what to call this... GIF My Little Pony - Ugh Yuu Facepalm Icon Ugh ash Hissing Dorito 

I don't think I've ever applied to so many jobs in the history of my working life and..

Not. One. Is. Managing. To. Lead. Anywhere!!

Bills don't pay themselves you know.

Ugh, been on the job hunt for a month now. The job I did get fell through last I find myself searching as far as Tampa (Which is an hour away from me) for work, which will really mean I have little time to draw if I have to travel that far :( I'm hoping I can get a job at the Ritz Carlton here in town after my interview on the 14th. Wish me luck! This has been real hard on us cause my wife is paying all the bills >__<
No, ADIP is being put on the back burner, however developing this new idea gives me the well needed break between finishing the final draft to keep my mind fresh with new ideas!
I'm actually no fully sure how I'm gonna flesh this one out, but sounds like Perry-the-Platypus and I will be collaborating on it. 

It's kinda a mystery romance at this stage and is actually an old idea being resurrected :) 

Staring with the total revamp of this gary-sue right here (don't be alarmed, the background in the description is a far cry -well for the most part- to what I have planned now. This actually might turn into a otome game, or at least a pick your own I've always wanted to make one. We will see though):

Alec Thomas by SaddlePatch

So that means more art is on the way, on top of the other art I still have on the way! <W< Although that will probably slow down again once I start back work again. I am in the process of finding a new job as right now my former one does not have the hours to take me back :(
...It's coming, I have lots of it! And while I'm off work I'm gonna take the time to color this stuff in!!
EDIT: Perry-the-Platypus shout out to her as she was a huge source of inspiration for Ian and Pauli and this story wouldn't still be going without her <3 <3 <3

A huge change is happening to "Matador of New York" (Pending title for ADIP Sequel) with the introduction of a new character, Ian Vega. More details on that to come, along with Bio Picture and other stuff. I'm very proud of this character and can't wait to introduce you to him!

Basically Junior will be the main antagonist in Matador of New York, and is actually kinda dark. He will no longer be Sara's love interest, although, he still remains her former childhood "best friend" and I'm putting that in parenthesis cause he's actually now a real creep. He plays a key part in the second books plot.

Also new Character for ADIP, Pauli, will be added to the story and plays a major part in Sara and James' lives. Beagle has been removed completely from the story as her character was thrown in and made little to no sense to the rest of the plot. Basically Pauli is her replacement. Yes Pauli is a male, and yes he spells his name with just an 'i". 

Rouche Garden, the antagonist for my final installment also has changed in terms of his occupation. He is no longer the CEO of the worlds number one Publishing firm, also receiving a darker but more realistic development and fun fact, all the characters in the series all end up tying together to him. You will have to wait and find out how at a later time!

Lucas Prette is also now a pediatric physio therapist instead of a camp consular (Working at the real IMG Academy in Florida, but with a fictional aquatic therapy program and pool )and will not be a primary main character in any of the novels outside the prequel but will play a key role in the second and final book!
His role in his youth also has changed, but stays relatively the same. 
Upon further analysis, Lucas and James will NOT get back together in the end but will forgive and move on. It's sad but more realistic to the characters and the plot lines they follow.

James' mother FINALLY has a name. Her name is Amelia. That took what, 6 years?

James' age in the first book is now officially 49. Yeah, I pretty much aged him down a decade. It makes more sense to the plot and keeps James around longer to see Sara grow up and see the first few years of any grandchildren. James was born on June 22, 1963, which will serve as his official birthday going forward. 

I will eventually (key word there) replace old profiles to reflect the changes, as due to aging down James, his design has changed slightly yet again. 

IDK just wanted to update you on my story's progress. Not much in terms of finishing the final draft but lot of analysis over it's plot and developing old and new characters to reflect those changes :)
Hey guys, sorry I haven't been on...alot...still ugh, need to change that.

A lot has happened since the last time I checked in.

I've been diagnosed with two things: Pre-diabties and POS.

These things have dramatically changed my life, and have forced me to seek out a new lifestyle to turn myself around from them. Although the POS most likely will not be cured, I need to focus on bouncing back from being pre-diabetic. 
Already I've changed my diet around completely, removed soda completely, watching my portions and avoiding eating out as much (We used to do it pretty much daily...).
They put me on Metformin which kicked my ass at first but I see it's working, having lost 4lbs in the first 10 days on it along with exercise 5 times a week. 

It's not gonna be an easy journey but I hope to turn this around. Any support is appreciated and just cheer me on in your thoughts if you could XD

I really really wanna be on here more often and submit art again but I am still pretty down about no longer being friends with MoodyBeatleGirl....that it has be in a real drawing funk. I've sketched and such but nothing colored on photoshop and nothing past minor headshots....

Trying to find ways to over come's gotten a lot better to the point where it's not really affecting me mentally, just only when it comes to drawing or being creative, as she was a huge source of support for my work.

But I still have you guys :3 And that's super awesome and my wife has been SUPER awesome with my ADIP stuff, so much we're role playing out AU ideas that won't be shared on here but they're helping me create new themes and characters for future works on the series :D 

Also it's our 3rd year Anniversary Today!! :D :D 
(Not that many people follow or care about it, but for those that do)

It's been 6 years in the making and just recently, I'm finding more and more things need to be changed, to the point that I've decided to basically start from the bottom up again, with the current Final draft as the final FINAL drafts template to work off of.
Lately, I've been really expanding on James' character to the point where I know him inside and out, I know how he moves, how he talks, how he thinks, and basically buried myself into his mind and thinkings. 
Essentially, the book will focus more on James' point of view of the story, without being in first person, as I feel James is the primary character that goes though the most change. 
Sara of course will be just as important but I feel this is James' story of opening up and taking down walls that held him back from opening up to begin with. 
It's my pride and joy, and essentially the only full story I have left to call truly my own. 
I'm still very depressed on how my old friend and I's Star Trek series will never see a proper end, which has me very lack luster. It's my own fault as I cut the ties (for more reasons than one), which I find myself sometimes regretting, but I remember how cast aside I was near the end of everything and well, again just hope maybe in the future we can settle our differences and go back to making stories together, be it fan fiction or not, if that day every comes and if our friendship was ever something of meaning to her. Yes bridges burn, but they can be rebuilt, but they need time to ensure they're better and stronger than before and withstand much bigger burdens than the bridge before. 
Going back to the premise of this post, most of ADIP has changed, even a title change is possibly in the works for the novel. It WILL be completed and I will see this thing to the bitter end. It will be published somehow, and I will share it with the world.
Besides my wife, it's really the only thing keeping me going right now in a time where I feel a lot like James, building a wall to stop letting people into my life to avoid being hurt...I feel very alone like he does right now.
It's funny because I always thought I connected myself more with Sara (Taboo I know but no writer can say they don't relate to their Characters) but as time has gone on, I found myself connecting more to James than any other character I've ever created.

And for that, he deserves the best representation, because there are so many people out there like him, emotionally, not just me, and I think a lot of the world can relate to him on that level.

I really hope to get some concept art up, some re-imaging of characters and some new ones to replace a few old ones. 

Tomorrow I'm actually gonna spend my day off doodling....(and getting a trade done cause yes that has to happen) for the first time in a long time. Cause I mentally need it.
Ugh guys, I'm so sorry there has been like no art ;___; (I even have a trade due with the awesome SakuraTES) but due to work and just 0 free time to even Plane Spot lately, it's been rough....

Really miss drawing....wish I could balance the two >__<

This being an adult thing sucks hardcore <___<;;
First off, it was BEYOND amazing, I loved it! So emotional and awesome THE FEELS

Second, I do have to revisit some things to make Return to Gravity Falls more canonlogical, which may mean a big character change for Thunder Bird in general as he may just end up being a bird or scrapped. (As opposed to William's Vessel)

This is why I haven't drawn or done too much with it cause I needed to know what was gonna happen to Bill Cipher and how Dipper would react about Gravity Falls in a nut shell.

So stay tuned for some brainstorming stuffs in the future.

In other news, I quit my job and got a new one, which I'll be starting on Tuesday so that's why I haven't been very active. I do plan to sit down and draw for once and get some stuff uploaded....cause I miss drawing and giving you guys arts to look at and enjoy ;w;
Might seem creepy but I'm having one of those days where I really wish we were still friends and that I still meant something to them :/

To think this was just months before is kinda depressing :(

I just moved into a new place, so I'm not sure when the internet will be running again, so I only have access to it at work! I'll let everyone know once we're hooked up and running :)
But between work, having to do chores for the horse I lease and moving, I've had no time to sit down and finish a few drawings I started :( 
Hey guys! Just wanted to share with you Calius' updated infomation in text format. I'll be drawing a new Profile picture soon to reflect new uniform :)

Calius Lockare (Pronouced Loch-air)
DOB: 2329
Age: 12
Parents: Admiral Alexander Lockare and Ashanti Lockare (deceased) 

Calius Lockare is the daughter of Admiral Lockare, who was on assignment in Dubai when she was born. Having lived most of her life with her father in Dubai after her mother died of unknown birth complications, they were getting ready to move back to the United States for his next assignment, when Starfleet Headquarters UAE, was bombed.
During the bombing, Calius and Admiral Lockare were separated. It was by accident that Calius ran to Kash Ansari's shuttle, the man responsible for the attack, mistaking it for an Emergency Response one. It didn't give her much time to realize her mistake, however she soon then passed out from smoke and debri all built up in her lungs and collapsed, hitting her head hard enough to jar her memory of the entire event and her life before hand.
It wasn't until Kash got to the abandon project planet of SETA IV, that he realized he had an unwanted passenger. With only an assumption to who she may be, he kept her in case he needed someone he could negotiated his life and freedom for in trade.
Of course, no situation arises to this nature and he has her do a lot of his dirty work for him and his colony of war criminals.

However, when a Federation ship, known as the USS Challenger and it's Captain Hoshio Sakura, is following up on report of illegal activity on SETA IV, they are in for way more than they bargained for and are about to embark on the biggest mission of their 5 year journey.

Not too much different, but a lot more original and Calius has been dimmed down in Mary Sue-ness not being related to Kirk any longer :)
I deleted my last few journals, because they were all made out of pure anger and were 150% immature of me.

I realized if someone can't understand or appreciate my honesty no matter how it comes out, then that person probably didn't share the same feelings in the friendship like you did toward them, which you can't control (No matter how hard you wish you could sometimes). Also long distance is a true test of trust and loyalty and I have to realize not all long distance relationships (be it friends or whatever) last or stand up to that challlenge...

Needless to say it's no one fault, not all words were meant, some were in the spirit of honesty and hurt, but it's never anyones intent to go out right and hurt someone if they truly love them.

We hurt cause we love...

I doubt the other end of this will feel the same way, but I had to get that off my chest because its how I felt. Could I have done it better? Of course, but when we're angry sometimes we act blindly, like I did and just continue and continue to be angry and try to gain some sort of acknowledgement because you want, deep down, for that person still to care....its normal.

So I'm sorry to my followers for you having to read and deal with that and I'm sorry (A word that probably will not mean anything right now, or ever, so I'm not looking for forgiveness, just to put forward that I am sorry, but understand I was sick of being a third wheel which drove me to be so angry) to Hannah for what I did....

Maybe in time we can come back to things, but I won't expect anything. Regardless, they will always leave a huge impact on my life and I will always be in a great deal of debt to them :(

Happy New Years everyone....
This is why I don't like leaving DeviantART alone for long, I has so much to catch up on! D: D:

Stoopid messed up shifts at work making me avoid social media..pshhhhhh
Regarding this account and it's future. Stay tooned....

So even though I just TOTALLY started (like I mean one response lol) doing a Shuttle Run/Orbiter crossover with SakuraTES , I'm totally thinking I'm going to go back and tweak my Orbiter designs. I know I said this awhile back, but I'm already getting so many awesome ideas in my head and last time, It was more like *I felt* I had to reboot my characters! Now I actually have a huge drive too!

That doesn't mean I've given up on my Return to Gravity Falls stroy or Another Day in Paradise or Star Trek in that matter, but I totally can see our RP turning into something epic, so I'm milking this inspiration!